Friday, June 10, 2011

learning to walk in freedom

freedom is no small thing
it is the very thing that Jesus Christ, my savior, died for
it stares me in the face, yet, for so long i have looked the other way
i have been a prisoner willing and unbeknownst to me
the fullness of the joy of the freedom God has lavished upon me is without measure, without restraint
it crashes over me like the peak of the highest wave the ocean has ever seen
what does this joy look like
i know it is there but
is it a smile
is it encapsulated in tears
is it a warming sensation of the heart
maybe it is one of these things, all of these things or none of these things
perhaps it is basking in the truth of who God tells me i am and how He feels about me
how he designed a purpose and plan for my life, long before creation even existed
i praise God for my freedom
i thank God that my false truth is in direct opposition with reality
i am not unloved but loved
i am not unnoticed but cherished
i am not unforgiven but forgiven
i am not imperfect but continuously being perfected
and i am his daughter in whom He is well pleased. 
i choose to walk in the freedom of who God says i am 
and no longer walk the meandering, destructive path of woundedness
i say yes, Jesus, heal me
satan your power has no hold here anymore
freedom is no small thing 
but through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, it overfills my cup  
it is mine and i am His

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

So today I felt like God gave me a slap on the wrist and rightly so

So, I'm sitting with my friend Hannah at the MU. She's tapping away on her Mac right beside me as I type away on mine.

We had finished catching up on what happened or did not happen over break. We were working on creating her blog when all of a sudden this guy and girl sat down at the booth behind us. Pretty normal, right? Nothing you would normally even give a second thought, but then the girl started speaking. Hannah and I immediately froze and shared a look that screamed "are you serious?!" She had the most high-pitched, nasally, child-like voice I think I've ever heard. I couldn't help but laugh through the pain. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I was thinking, "This poor guy!" A thousand other thoughts raced through my mind.... Were they on a date? If so, it would probably be the last. She talked about some random things like Eistein's coffee and how she liked all the flavors. I mean I knew what I was thinking was horribly cruel and ungodly, but it was my initial reaction I'm ashamed to admit. Hannah struggled right beside me.

So, why am I telling you this? Well, God was quick to respond to my ugliness. The guy and girl pulled out their Bibles and started reading. Whoosh. It felt like a slap on the wrist. Not a good feeling. Here I am mocking her, pitying him and being a horrible example to my friend, and they end up reading scripture! Definitely felt small after that. Total conviction. So to the young lady at the booth behind me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was judgmental, rude and most of all unloving. Good thing the Lord won't hold it against me but use it to grow me. :)